The Allure of Inconsequence

You,

You’ve shared my company for long enough to have realized that I do not care for eventualities. Our strides match, if only infrequently. The ability to temporarily disassociate is so powerful. The curse of free will and denying responsibility - I really wish this were not possible.

I like to think we are fish. Maybe koi? I do not know anything about them, but do they love themselves? Or are they also just filled with loathe? In either case, I think they do just fine. A pond, a school of their like for company, and most importantly their inherent incapacity of the outside. Their universe, much like ours, only extends to what they can observe. Is happiness directly proportional to the size of our boundaries?

Are we happiest when we are at a large gathering, with extended family and friends of friends? Or with just our closest people? Or maybe just ourselves? Are we ever happy? Fuck, we need to figure this out.

We wake up, drive to work, do work, drive back home, eat and have sex. Jesus Christ, that is fucking depressing. Millennia of evolution cannot have possibly led to this. We have to be larger.

Hmm, is that what this is then? Chasing “larger”, getting only so far, dying and then people who share our DNA do the same?

We have been imposed upon all our lives. You have been imposing me all my life. I am not a part of your observable universe, until I am. And when I am, you shun everything.

I inherit you every time. We hate it, but this is who we choose to be, every single time.

– Yours